Practicing Self-Compassion

By Jade Caswell, MA, LMHC

Think about the last time you made a mistake or were faced with an obstacle. Was your

first instinct to practice self-compassion and kindness or did your inner critic arise? If you were

met with your inner critic, consider what would change if you met yourself with self-compassion

instead? Maybe it wouldn't have changed your external circumstances, but it may have bolstered

your resilience and personal confidence in the face of struggles. Dr. Kristen Neff, a psychologist

and expert in the field of self-compassion, put it succulently by saying, instead of mercilessly

judging and criticizing yourself for various inadequacies or shortcomings, self-compassion

means you are kind and understanding when confronted with your failings – after all, who

ever said you were supposed to be perfect? Now that you have a basic understanding of self-

compassion, read more below to learn about how to practice this valuable skill.

1. What Would you Say to a Friend?

Consider how you would approach a friend if they were going through a similar challenge.

Oftentimes, people speak more critically to themselves than they would a friend. Keeping this in

mind, be your own best friend and consider how to speak to yourself using kindness and self-

compassion, instead of judgement or criticism.

2. Practice Soothing Touch

Consider a somatic exercise and provide yourself supportive touch. This could mean placing a

hand over your heart for a few breaths, giving yourself a hug or placing both feet on the floor for

grounding in place.

3. Silence the Inner-Critic using Imagery

Place each critical thought you are having on a leaf, then imagine this leaf is flowing down a

stream. This coping skill combines mindfulness, self-compassion and imagery and helps not only

to stay connected to the present but also to banish inner-judgement and criticism from the mind.

4. Three Steps of Self-Compassion

This practice can be used when faced with a challenge or emotional pain.

Step 1 --Acknowledge this is a moment of suffering.

Step 2 --Acknowledge suffering is a part of life (it’s okay to be human!).

Step 3-- Meet yourself with kindness and compassion.

Interested in learning more about self-compassion? Please call our office today at 813-335-9794.

We look forward to hearing from you!