Practicing Self-Compassion

By Jade Caswell, MA, LMHC

Think about the last time you made a mistake or were faced with an obstacle. Was your

first instinct to practice self-compassion and kindness or did your inner critic arise? If you were

met with your inner critic, consider what would change if you met yourself with self-compassion

instead? Maybe it wouldn't have changed your external circumstances, but it may have bolstered

your resilience and personal confidence in the face of struggles. Dr. Kristen Neff, a psychologist

and expert in the field of self-compassion, put it succulently by saying, instead of mercilessly

judging and criticizing yourself for various inadequacies or shortcomings, self-compassion

means you are kind and understanding when confronted with your failings – after all, who

ever said you were supposed to be perfect? Now that you have a basic understanding of self-

compassion, read more below to learn about how to practice this valuable skill.

1. What Would you Say to a Friend?

Consider how you would approach a friend if they were going through a similar challenge.

Oftentimes, people speak more critically to themselves than they would a friend. Keeping this in

mind, be your own best friend and consider how to speak to yourself using kindness and self-

compassion, instead of judgement or criticism.

2. Practice Soothing Touch

Consider a somatic exercise and provide yourself supportive touch. This could mean placing a

hand over your heart for a few breaths, giving yourself a hug or placing both feet on the floor for

grounding in place.

3. Silence the Inner-Critic using Imagery

Place each critical thought you are having on a leaf, then imagine this leaf is flowing down a

stream. This coping skill combines mindfulness, self-compassion and imagery and helps not only

to stay connected to the present but also to banish inner-judgement and criticism from the mind.

4. Three Steps of Self-Compassion

This practice can be used when faced with a challenge or emotional pain.

Step 1 --Acknowledge this is a moment of suffering.

Step 2 --Acknowledge suffering is a part of life (it’s okay to be human!).

Step 3-- Meet yourself with kindness and compassion.

Interested in learning more about self-compassion? Please call our office today at 813-335-9794.

We look forward to hearing from you!

Cognitive Restructuring: Changing Thought Patterns to Improve Mental Health

By Sandra I. Beekmann, MS, LCMHC-QS, NCC

Negative thoughts can feel automatic. A stressful conversation, a missed deadline, or an unexpected setback may quickly trigger thoughts like “I’m failing,” “Nothing ever works out,” or “I can’t handle this.” Over time, these patterns can increase anxiety, depression, stress, and low self-esteem.

Cognitive restructuring is a therapeutic technique that helps people recognize, challenge, and reframe unhelpful thoughts into more balanced and realistic ones. It is a core component of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and is widely used to support emotional well-being and healthier decision-making.

What Is Cognitive Restructuring?

Cognitive restructuring is the process of identifying distorted or unhelpful thinking patterns and replacing them with more accurate and constructive thoughts. The goal is not to force positivity or ignore challenges. Instead, it helps individuals evaluate whether their thoughts are fair, evidence-based, and helpful.

For example:

• Automatic thought: “I made a mistake during the presentation. Everyone thinks I’m incompetent.”

• Restructured thought: “I made one mistake, but I also communicated several important points clearly. One error does not define my abilities.”

This shift in perspective can reduce emotional distress and encourage healthier responses to difficult situations.

Understanding Cognitive Distortions

Many negative thoughts are driven by cognitive distortions — habitual ways of thinking that are exaggerated, inaccurate, or unbalanced. Common examples include:

All-or-Nothing Thinking

Seeing situations in extremes without recognizing middle ground.

• “If I’m not perfect, I’m a failure.”

Catastrophizing

Assuming the worst possible outcome will happen.

• “If I make a mistake, I’ll lose everything.”

Mind Reading

Believing you know what others think about you.

• “They didn’t respond right away, so they must be upset with me.”

Overgeneralization

Taking one experience and applying it broadly.

• “This relationship ended, so I’ll never find a healthy relationship.”

Recognizing these patterns is often the first step toward creating healthier thought habits.

How Cognitive Restructuring Works

Cognitive restructuring typically follows several steps:

1. Identify the Thought

Notice the automatic thought that appears during a stressful or emotional moment.

2. Examine the Evidence

Ask questions such as:

• What evidence supports this thought?

• What evidence challenges it?

• Am I making assumptions?

3. Consider Alternative Perspectives

Explore more balanced interpretations of the situation.

4. Replace the Thought

Develop a realistic and compassionate replacement thought.

This process can help reduce emotional intensity and improve coping skills over time.

Benefits of Cognitive Restructuring

Cognitive restructuring can support individuals experiencing:

• Anxiety

• Depression

• Chronic stress

• Low self-esteem

• Social anxiety

• Perfectionism

• Relationship challenges

Some benefits include:

• Increased emotional awareness

• Improved stress management

• Greater self-confidence

• Healthier communication

• More balanced decision-making

With practice, individuals often become more aware of their internal dialogue and more capable of responding thoughtfully instead of reacting automatically.

Can You Practice Cognitive Restructuring on Your Own?

Many people begin practicing cognitive restructuring through journaling, mindfulness, or self-reflection exercises. However, working with a mental health counselor can provide guidance, structure, and support — especially when negative thought patterns are deeply rooted or connected to trauma, anxiety, or depression.

Therapy can help individuals learn how to:

• Recognize recurring patterns

• Develop healthier coping strategies

• Improve emotional regulation

• Build resilience and self-compassion

When to Seek Support

Persistent negative thoughts can affect relationships, work performance, sleep, and overall quality of life. If unhelpful thinking patterns are causing distress or interfering with daily functioning, therapy may help provide practical tools and emotional support.

At Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, cognitive restructuring is often used to help clients better understand their thoughts, emotions, and behaviors in a safe and supportive environment.

Final Thoughts

Thoughts influence emotions, behaviors, and overall mental health. While everyone experiences negative thinking from time to time, recurring distorted thoughts can create unnecessary emotional suffering.

Cognitive restructuring offers a practical framework for challenging those patterns and developing healthier, more balanced ways of thinking. Over time, even small shifts in perspective can lead to meaningful improvements in emotional well-being and resilience. Reach out to us here at SMC Tampa for more information and support.

Coping with Perfectionism

By Jade Caswell, MA, LMHC

Perfectionism is on the rise, with research indicating a 33 percent increase in socially prescribed perfectionism, particularly among younger generations (Curran & Hill, 2017). Perfectionism can fall in three different categories, including self-oriented perfectionism, socially prescribed perfectionism, and other-oriented perfectionism. Self-oriented perfectionism involves individuals placing unrealistic expectations on themselves, while other-oriented perfectionism may manifest in holding unrealistic expectations for others. Socially prescribed perfectionism is described as a form of perfectionism where individuals fear others may be evaluating them harshly, and they must be 'perfect' at all times. The rise in socially prescribed perfectionism may be linked to increased comparisons (social media), family pressures, and increased competition within academic and employment spaces. 

While striving for high goals can lead to success, there is a stark difference between seeking excellence and being critical of oneself. Healthy, or adaptive perfectionism, can be described as a flexible pursuit of success, without the fear of failure or self-critical impulses taking over. Maladaptive perfectionism, on the other hand, demands rigid perfection and can be linked to poor mental health outcomes, including depression, anxiety, OCD, and even suicidal ideations. If you or a loved one is struggling with maladaptive perfectionism, below are a few coping skills to try out:

1. Identify patterns of all or nothing thinking.

Set flexible and realistic goals and identify any patterns of all or nothing thinking that may be leading to over functioning, or avoidance. Try a mantra for encouragement!

2. Separate self-worth from work or tasks

Tell yourself that your inherent worth as a human being is not beholden to achievements, external successes, or the opinions of others. Redefine your identity and who you want to be!

3. Notice your inner criticNotice when self-talk becomes rigid or harsh.  Replace negative thoughts with a positive statement, reframing your thoughts in a positive direction. Remind yourself it's okay to not be perfect!

4. Reach out to a professional

A trained therapist can help you uncover patterns of behavior and thoughts that might be contributing to maladaptive perfectionism, and help you reframe these into something helpful and adaptive.

Interested in starting therapy? Our highly skilled and trained therapists are happy to help you start your journey today! Please reach out to our office at 813-335-9794. We look forward to hearing from you!