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The Anger Within Us: How Unprocessed Toxicity Affects Our Loved Ones

 In our fast-paced and often stressful lives, it's not uncommon for us to experience feelings of anger, frustration, and resentment. Sometimes, these emotions can build up within us, gradually turning into toxicity that we carry around without even realizing it. Unfortunately, if left unaddressed, this toxicity can eventually spill out and negatively impact the people we care about most.


Anger is a natural human emotion, and it's perfectly normal to feel it from time to time. However, problems arise when we suppress or ignore these feelings, allowing them to fester and grow over time. When we fail to process our anger in healthy ways, it can build up like a pressure cooker, waiting to explode at the slightest provocation.


One of the dangers of unprocessed anger is that it often manifests itself in unexpected ways. We may find ourselves snapping at loved ones over trivial matters, lashing out in anger when we're actually feeling hurt or insecure, or resorting to passive-aggressive behavior as a way of expressing our frustration. These outbursts can cause strain and tension in our relationships, leading to hurt feelings, resentment, and even long-term damage.


So, why do we hold onto our anger instead of dealing with it head-on? There are many reasons, ranging from fear of confrontation to a lack of healthy coping mechanisms. Some of us may have grown up in environments where expressing anger was discouraged or seen as a sign of weakness, leading us to bury our feelings rather than address them.


Whatever the reason, it's essential to recognize the importance of processing and releasing our anger in healthy ways. This may involve seeking support from a therapist or counselor, practicing relaxation techniques such as deep breathing or meditation, or finding constructive outlets for our emotions, such as journaling or physical exercise.


By acknowledging and addressing our anger instead of bottling it up inside, we can prevent it from spilling out and harming the people we love. It's important to remember that expressing anger doesn't make us weak or flawed—it's a normal part of the human experience. What matters is how we choose to deal with it and how we treat those around us in the process.


In conclusion, the anger within us can be a potent force if left unchecked. By acknowledging, processing, and releasing our anger in healthy ways, we can prevent it from poisoning our relationships and find greater peace and happiness in our lives.


Let's commit to confronting our anger and nurturing the love and connection we share with those who matter most. Contact us at We are looking forward to helping you heal!

By Sandra Beekmann, MS, LCMHC-QS, NCC


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