The Anger Within Us: How Unprocessed Toxicity Affects Our Loved Ones

 In our fast-paced and often stressful lives, it's not uncommon for us to experience feelings of anger, frustration, and resentment. Sometimes, these emotions can build up within us, gradually turning into toxicity that we carry around without even realizing it. Unfortunately, if left unaddressed, this toxicity can eventually spill out and negatively impact the people we care about most.

Anger is a natural human emotion, and it's perfectly normal to feel it from time to time. However, problems arise when we suppress or ignore these feelings, allowing them to fester and grow over time. When we fail to process our anger in healthy ways, it can build up like a pressure cooker, waiting to explode at the slightest provocation.

One of the dangers of unprocessed anger is that it often manifests itself in unexpected ways. We may find ourselves snapping at loved ones over trivial matters, lashing out in anger when we're actually feeling hurt or insecure, or resorting to passive-aggressive behavior as a way of expressing our frustration. These outbursts can cause strain and tension in our relationships, leading to hurt feelings, resentment, and even long-term damage.

So, why do we hold onto our anger instead of dealing with it head-on? There are many reasons, ranging from fear of confrontation to a lack of healthy coping mechanisms. Some of us may have grown up in environments where expressing anger was discouraged or seen as a sign of weakness, leading us to bury our feelings rather than address them.

Whatever the reason, it's essential to recognize the importance of processing and releasing our anger in healthy ways. This may involve seeking support from a therapist or counselor, practicing relaxation techniques such as deep breathing or meditation, or finding constructive outlets for our emotions, such as journaling or physical exercise.

By acknowledging and addressing our anger instead of bottling it up inside, we can prevent it from spilling out and harming the people we love. It's important to remember that expressing anger doesn't make us weak or flawed—it's a normal part of the human experience. What matters is how we choose to deal with it and how we treat those around us in the process.

In conclusion, the anger within us can be a potent force if left unchecked. By acknowledging, processing, and releasing our anger in healthy ways, we can prevent it from poisoning our relationships and find greater peace and happiness in our lives.

Let's commit to confronting our anger and nurturing the love and connection we share with those who matter most. Contact us at info@smctampa.com. We are looking forward to helping you heal!

By Sandra Beekmann, MS, LCMHC-QS, NCC

Stress and The Immune System

By Jade Caswell, MA, Counselor

            Stress is unfortunately something that many of us are familiar with. Stress can be caused by a plethora of different factors, including work, family responsibilities, and interpersonal conflict. Stress can be defined as short-term or chronic, and even cause physical health concerns. The body releases cortisol when stressed, which can boost the immune system and limit inflammation in the short term, however, when the body is chronically stressed, this can contribute to decreased immunity due to lower white blood cell counts. White blood cells help fight infection in the body, so when their numbers decrease, this leaves the body susceptible to illness. Increased inflammation in the body has also been associated with an increased risk of developing anxiety or depression. The good news? Stress can be managed through simple life hacks, a few of which are discussed below. When stress is managed, we make ourselves more resistant to potential mental and physical illness.

Simple tips for managing stress

1. Practice mindfulness

Mindfulness if a great tool for centering ourselves in the present moment, and can be practiced through various methods, including meditation, prayer, or yoga. Just simply sitting with your thoughts and observing them objectively while enjoying a silent moment can be considered a helpful mindfulness practice.

2. Get enough sleep

Sleep is crucial for repairing body cells and promoting physical and mental health. Not getting the recommend 7 to 9 hours of sleep at night can leave you susceptible to higher stress levels and increased vulnerability to illness. Sticking to a routine schedule and having a bedtime routine can promote more restful sleep.

3. Eat a healthy diet

Research has shown that individuals who eat a well-balanced diet, which includes a variety of fruits, vegetables and whole grains, have stronger immune systems and less inflammation in the body. In particular, Vitamins C, D and Zinc have been implicated as components of a strong immune system.

4. Try therapy

Struggling to feel balanced? Our experienced counselors at SMC can help you find an individualized plan for managing stress in your own life! We offer individual mental health counseling, as well as life-coaching that can aid you in reaching your full potential and assist you in managing stress in a healthier way. Please call us at 813-335-9794 or reach out to our office at office@smctampa.com to set up a session today!

Improving Relationships Using Gottman Therapy

By Jade Caswell, MA

As we move into February, 'the month of love' many of us may be thinking about what

we can do to strengthen our relationship and ensure our love keeps growing. Thankfully, the

Gottmans have done the hard work for us, and uncovered the following 7 principles to keep our

relationships going strong. John and Julie Gottman are pioneers in the field of psychology, and

have published numerous works on topics such as marital stability and relationship counseling.

Below are their findings, after decades of research in their 'love lab' at the University of

Washington.

The 7 Principles for Keeping Love Strong

1. Understanding your Partner's Love Map

This principle is all about understanding your partner's inner world- their hopes, dreams,

desires, and fears. Asking open ended questions and approaching your partner with curiosity

and a desire to truly understand them is one way to enhance your love maps.

2. Cultivating Fondness and Admiration

This principle relates to expressing appreciation for your partner and ensuring that you do not

'take them for granted'; Simple 'thank yous' or expressing one thing you appreciate that your

partner did for you on any given day is a great way to practice this principle.

3. Turning Towards One Another

Reflect on how you behave during a conflict with your partner... Do you seek to avoid and 'run

away' or turn towards your partner, communicate how you are feeling, and collaborate

towards a solution to the problem?

4. Accepting Influence

This Gottman concept refers to the pursuit of compromise in a relationship. Instead of engaging

in a power struggle, couples who work together, 'accept influence' from their partner, and are

flexible often have increased relationship success.

5. Create Shared Meaning

Building on common experiences and having a 'shared history' with your partner enhances the

fabric of a relationship and creates a more fulfilling partnership. Think about your own lived

experience, as well as the shared story you are creating through your partnership.

6. Manage Conflict & Overcome Gridlock

According to the Gottmans, conflict is inevitable in a relationship; however, how conflict is

managed is the most important factor. Happy couples often focus on the positive aspects of

their partner, instead of dwelling on the 'negative' or fixating on a problem.

7. Solve Problems that are Solvable

This concept refers to compromise and collaboration when it comes to problems that are

solvable in the relationship. Successful couples use such techniques such as self-soothing,

gentle start-ups, repair attempts, and negotiation skills to come to an acceptable solution for

both parties.

If you read to the end of the list, congratulations! You have started your Gottman education

and can use these principles to strengthen your relationship. If you'd like more information or

would like to start comprehensive Gottman Therapy with one of our Gottman-certified

counselors, please call our office today at 813-335-9794 or email us at office@smctampa.com